Dwelling in the Shelter...

Memorizing God's Word

2011-05-09T14:59:00.000-07:00

Back in January I wrote how I was going to be working on memorizing the book of Colossians as I went through the book with our Precept study!! Wow!! What an amazing journey that was. As it turned out, I was able to learn it right along with Kay as she taught it - so the section I was learning was the section she was teaching on that week. It's an incredible book - and I love with www.scripturetyper.com you review and review the passages you've learned so I'm going over the truths every few days.

I've also started learning some Psalms...and re-learning ones that I learned a long time ago at boarding school in the Congo. I haven't decided yet which book I'm going to tackle next - Philippians or James? I Peter? or maybe just a chapter. There's definitely something to be said though for getting the flow of the whole book in your mind.

I did learn Psalm 91 which is where the name for this blog came from...amazing chapter and amazing truth! God is amazing!!

Grace...

2011-01-26T12:55:00.001-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about grace this past week after the lesson we heard from Kay at our Precepts study. I have a long way to go in fully comprehending God's grace towards me but I love contemplating His grace and the many verses about it.

One thing that Kay said last week that struck me - I've never thought of it in this way. She was talking about how grace is mostly spoken about in the NT and not in the OT. However, grace is very evident in the Old Testament - even though that word is not used. In Psalm 51 David understands God's grace and in every sacrifice that was made, God's grace was there. We know that the blood of sheep and goats couldn't take away the people's sin - that was just a picture of what was coming when Jesus would be the sacrificial Lamb. But God covered them in grace through those sacrifices that they made until He could bring the New Covenant. And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

(John 1:16-17 ESV)

Grace - an amazing gift that I'm thinking on as I dwell in His shelter...

When bad things happen...

2011-01-21T08:37:00.000-08:00

"...As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today." Genesis 50:20

It's such a comfort to me to know that when it seems that bad triumphs over good God is still in control and He will use these bad circumstances for His glory. We had this same teaching in John 11 this past week in our study. Lazarus had died and Jesus says that he waited the 4 days so that God's glory could be shown. Not only did He use the sadness of Lazarus's death - when he raised him from the dead- for His glory but then later in the passage He uses the bad idea from Caiaphas the High Priest to bring about His will.

John 11:47 So the chief priests and the Pharisees gathered the Council and said, “What are we to do? For this man performs many signs. 48 If we let him go on like this, everyone will believe in him, and the Romans will come and take away both our place and our nation.” 49 But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, “You know nothing at all. 50 Nor do you understand that it is better for you that one man should die for the people, not that the whole nation should perish.” 51 He did not say this of his own accord, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the nation, 52 and not for the nation only, but also to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad. 53 So from that day on they made plans to put him to death.

We can trust God in every situation in our lives even when we get the worst news possible. I remember the day my dad called and told me my mom had been hit by a truck in the crosswalk of a busy street and was at the hospital. So many emotions ran through me - but I literally felt like I had been punched in the gut. You just don't expect bad news like that in the middle of the day. Or the Sunday afternoon I received an email from the mom of a soldier in Brian's unit telling me that her son had been killed...another punch in the gut. Literally I couldn't breathe.

Our lives are filled with these sad stories - with gut wrenching grief and tears.

Just this past week a young father of two small children dies from cancer, a little 4 year old boy has a brain tumor and has suffered a stroke - not sure of how his brain has been affected by the trauma, a 5 year old little girl has a fast growing tumor at the base of her skull...can the surgery to take the tumors out give her enough time for further treatment in another city...how do you tell a 5 year old she may not be able to go back to school, may not swim again all the while not knowing if she'll even make it through the next few months...We just don't know what next week will bring.

Through it all we HAVE to keep our eyes on the Lord - on His truth - in His Word. Through my mom's death, my sister was able to lead a young lady on the plane to the Lord. We know that mom would have been thrilled that through her accident someone entered God's kingdom. We sent a message through the police department to the driver of the truck that we as a family forgave him - we knew he didn't do this on purpose and that God could easily have protected her. It was her time to go to be with the Lord and this truck was the instrument God chose.

The big picture...God uses all the circumstances in our lives to make us more Christ-like - bottom line. His grace is sufficient for whatever we go through. Yes, the grief is there. I remember for weeks after my mother's death I would be driving someplace and the tears would just spill over and I would end up sobbing at my loss. Sobbing...I had never cried like that before...heart-wrenching sobs at the grief of the loss of her presence in my life...all the while knowing she was having the time of her life singing with all the incomparable joy of being in a new body and in heaven with the Lord she loved and served all of her life.

II Cor. 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Truth - God's truth - keeping my mind focused on truth when all around me seems to be so unsteady - He is my Rock, my shelter, my truth. Dwelling in the shelter...that's where I want to be!

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Before Brian left for Iraq back in the fall of 2006 I wrote this blog about the Scripture in II Corinthians 12:9. I love this verse and the promises in it.

It's a Colossians Year!!

2011-01-19T17:25:00.000-08:00

As I wrote earlier in a blog I am working on learning the whole book of Colossians this year - committing it to memory! I'm very excited about this. There's a real peace in being obedient. I found a great tool online - ScriptureTyper.com - and it's really making a difference with my ability to memorize.

I am also very happy to be going to a Precept study on Colossians. Today was the first day - it's going to be a very rich study indeed.

In Kay's message today she talked about Grace...charis in greek. "Grace to you" was a common Greek greeting and Peace was a common greeting to the Hebrews, the Jews. So, at the beginning of the book Paul greets both Greeks and Jews - Grace to you and Peace from God our Father.

She spent the whole teaching time talking about Grace...what a wonderful hour it was reveling in the grace that God shows us and looking up all the verses.

Charis - or grace - was a word used in the greek culture for gracefulness, loveliness, gratitude, graciousness, gifts and Christian acts. Because of this you have to look at the context of it's usage and interpret it from that perspective. Paul took this concept of grace out of the greek culture and used it for the gospel.

To summarize Kay's points about Grace:

1. We are saved by it - Ephesians 2:8-10, Acts 20:18-24, Romans 3:24, Hebrews 2:9

2. We stand in it - Romans 5:1-2 (Jesus takes us by the hand and walks us into the grace of God)

3. It is sufficient for all of life - II Cor. 12:9

4. We operate in it - I Peter 4:10, Romans 12:6

5. Grace is multiplied to you in the knowledge of Him - II Peter 1:2-3

6. We are to grow in it - II Peter 3:17-18

Wonderful truths - I am nothing without the grace of God in my life. I Corinthians 15:10 "By the grace of God I am what I am and His grace towards me was not in vain." If I try to substitute my "righteousness" or my good works or anything - then his grace is in vain. Faith releases grace. When we trust him that everything He has said is truth and we rest in Him, we will know God's peace that comes from His grace. We can't handle past sins apart from knowing and understanding God's grace.

So many truths - so much to think about...verses to meditate on...dwelling in His shelter is the perfect place to be.

Blogging...

2011-01-16T13:51:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try to be a better blogger - not that anyone has to read any of it - but it's good to have things down on "paper" for accountability and also to look back on and see how God worked things out, lessons learned, growing towards more holiness, learning more about God's Word etc.

I'm very thankful for Compass Bible Church and for the wonderful people there...so much energy and desire to walk closely in God's truth and striving one step at a time for more holiness in their lives.

We've been going through the book of Romans since May of 2008 and have just heard two messages on Ch. 12:1 last week and 12:2 this week! Great verses!! I think the illustration that helped me the most was the one way street. The world is going one way and as Christians we should be going the other way. When you go the "wrong" way on a one way street you get people very unhappy with you. In the same way the world will be angry with you because you're not conforming to their way of doing things. We should expect controversy. Pastor Mike showed us how "Do not be conformed" is in the passive negative imperative...in other words - don't let this happen to you. Don't let yourself be or get conformed to this world...if we're not actively working to not be conformed it will happen.

Actively working to NOT let this happen is "being transformed by the renewal of your mind." Feeding daily on God's Word, moving in God's direction in every aspect of my life - what I read, watch, listen to, friends, etc - is what will determine if I am being transformed or conformed.

Pastor Mike closed with 5 things "to do."

1 - we better be asking for wisdom - James 1:5

2 - search the Scriptures - Psalm 119:105

3 - ask - is this Christ-like I Jn 2:6

4 - Is it OK for Christ to return right now? I Jn.2:28

5 - What would your spiritual heroes think or do? Heb 12:1-2

Good things to go over and over - continuing to dwell in His shelter...

2011-01-14T14:54:00.000-08:00

A short devotional I found today on the internet from A.W. Tozer...

Personal Life: Personal Feeding on God's Word

Oh, how I love Your law! It is my meditation all the day. --Psalm 119:97

I remember James M. Gray, the noted Bible teacher, telling of a Christian brother, a Michigan farmer, whose spiritual life had suddenly blossomed until there was an overflowing of God's presence. Many in the man's community recognized the change in his life and personality and sought spiritual counsel from him. Dr. Gray had opportunity to ask the man about the transformation of his spiritual life and witness.

"Dr. Gray, I began to devote myself to the Scriptures for my own need," the man humbly explained. "Something happened when God opened my spiritual understanding as I studied the book of Ephesians. I cannot really explain what the Lord is doing for me and through me, but it has come through prayerful meditation in the Word of God."

None of us can expect to get the rich, transforming blessings from God apart from the Scriptures....

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I have definitely been challenged anew to be in the Scriptures daily and only here will I find God's will for my life and learn to depend on Him for my sanctification. It's so important to read and study for ourselves and ask God to teach and reveal His truth. This is the 3rd year I'm reading through the Bible. I figure there were a few missed days but over the course of several years I will have read most of the Bible through a number of times.

For the really enthusiastic reader there is Professor Horner's method of reading - 10 chapters a day. You go through a lot of the Bible multiple times per year. This is a link to an online version of it. There is also links online where you cut out the bookmarks for the various books you're reading. The online version definitely simplifies it and you can read it on your smartphone! ; )

I'm also taking on the challenge this year to memorize the book of Colossians - 2 verses a week. There is a group on Facebook for support which is wonderful. I'm writing out the verses in a little booklet as well as using printed cards. That way I can keep a set in the car or my purse for when I'm out and about. This was all inspired by Ann Voskamps Blog and links found there. If anyone is reading this who wants the ESV version of cards, email me at armymom2@gmail.com and I'll gladly pass along what was already a gift to me. Having an accountability partner will help...I have a couple of friends as well as my sister. So, now begins the challenge to get this old brain fired up memorizing! Great exercise for the brain and heart!

Dwelling in the shelter definitely takes time in God's Word!

2010-09-18T07:52:00.000-07:00

In our Women's Bible Study at church we will be going through the book of John. John's purpose in this book was to make sure that Jews and Greeks alike understood and believed that "Jesus is the Christ the Son of God, and that by believing, you may have life in His name." John 20:31. He introduces us to Jesus in John 1:1-5 as the Word - Jesus is the Eternal Word v.1-2, the Creative Word v. 3 and the Incarnate Word v 14 (Wiersbe - Be Alive p 20,21.)

When I have studied books of the Bible through Precepts one of the first things we do is go through the passage and mark key words. I love doing this because right away you can see what the passage or book is emphasizing. It shows patterns, key concepts, illustrations, etc.

A very cool tool that was passed on to me is the website called "Wordle." I went this morning and typed in the first 5 verses of John 1 and this is what came up:

(Click on it to make it larger).

Very cool don't you think? Here is a website where you can find every book of the Bible done in Wordle so you see the most important words in each book. I think this is one of the coolest things I've seen!

Anyway - have fun making your own Wordles!! It's a great tool for Bible study!

Of slabs and leaks...and small holes

2010-07-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

The other morning when we came downstairs for breakfast we heard water running...but couldn't find the source. No-one was in the shower, no toilets running, no laundry washing. We concluded we had a leak someplace which would need to be fixed.

Two days later...this being a holiday weekend...we had this confirmed by a technician with a very fancy machine who told us where it was located and how far down it was.

Dan and Matt decided to tackle the job of the repair saving us a lot of money. When they found the pipe and the hole we were all surprised at how small the leak was. The house is 40 years old and the pipe was copper...but it had disintegrated enough that a little hole had worked itself through. Not only would this little hole get larger, but the damage it would do, both to our house and our pocketbooks was sizable if it wasn't fixed.

I was reminded of the verses in James 3 about the tongue and how much damage this small member of our body can do.

3:1 Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. 2 For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. 3 If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. 4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.

How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. 11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? 12 Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. (ESV.org).

We all struggle with the words we say and often deeply regret the hurt and pain our words have caused. My prayer for myself and my daughter (we are both very quick to speak without thinking) is Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth;keep watch over the door of my lips! Making sure that I am in God's Word on a regular basis and putting His thoughts and plans and wisdom into the "spring" of my heart will also help make sure that what comes out of my mouth comes from a heart that is right with the Lord. We can't do this alone...we have to know God, know His Word and know we are completely dependent on Him for any good that comes out of our lives.

Dwelling in His shelter means knowing Him, loving Him, trusting Him and depending on Him.

Obedience and Holiness...

2010-04-17T12:52:00.000-07:00

I love the Precepts study in Deuteronomy that I am going through right now. God has challenged me through it to love him with all my heart and soul and to live a life of obedience. Kay’s clear Biblical teaching is always an encouragement and a piercing as she uses God’s Word to teach us and challenge us.

This past week we looked at Deuteronomy 10:12-13 “And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments and statutes of the Lord, which I am commanding you today for your good?” Later in the passage Moses also tells the people of Israel to “hold fast” or “cling” to God.

As I was driving to work one day this past week, stirrings of discontent regarding one of my possessions was simmering in my heart. I’ve been asking the Lord to prompt me when I’m displeasing Him and I realized that He was not happy with me. I knew it was aimed at my complaining about His provision for me. I repented and asked the Lord for a grateful heart and thankfulness for all His many blessings. I reminded myself of the Israelites who had seen God’s mighty hand at the crossing of the Red Sea, heard the voice of God coming from the mountain, saw the cloud by day and the fire by night – His presence always with them. They still complained when they came to the next “need” (water, food, etc.) instead of looking back, realizing that God was their Provider, their Rescuer, and loved them deeply as His Chosen People. I have often shaken my head at their blindness and thought “I would never do that! It’s so obvious that God is taking care of them! Why their unbelief?” They weren’t afraid of displeasing the Lord with their attitudes of unbelief and discontentedness.

What I realized however, in my complaining, was that I did not “fear” the Lord like I should. I wasn’t looking back in my life and seeing God’s constant provision for me. I was not that afraid of displeasing Him. Looking up “fear” in Hebrew(www.blueletterbible.org) I see that it means “to fear, revere, and be afraid.” The same word used here “yare’” is used elsewhere in the Old Testament as “afraid.”

God is a loving and merciful God, but He calls us to be holy – to live lives that are “called out” and separate from the culture around us. “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy." 1 Peter 1:15-16 Throughout Leviticus, God called his people to be holy. It’s a constant with God -He is a holy God and we need to live our lives in “fearful” reverence –to take our sin seriously and to realize how displeasing we are to the Lord when we have ungrateful hearts. We need to be afraid of His displeasure and know that He will discipline us as a father disciplines his unruly children. He is a jealous God and doesn’t want anything in our lives that will take us away from a full-hearted obedience to Him. My children “feared” their father’s punishment more than mine – they knew he would be firm and it would hurt. As a result, they were much quicker to respond in obedience to him than they were to me. We need to have that healthy fear of discipline from the loving, just, holy God.

Dwelling in the shelter is a place of learning and obedience…

Matt and Laura's Wedding

2009-06-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

The wedding was beautiful. The love they have for each other was very evident in their faces and in Matt's "I'll take good care of her" to her dad as he handed Matt her hand.

I loved the vows - they spoke them back and forth to each other. I loved the commitment they made as they exchanged rings and the quiet time of communion they had while "Amazing Grace" was played so beautifully on the piano. I loved how they raised their hands in joy at the prounouncement of being man and wife.

Their first dance was beautiful and joyful.

I loved how they left with a flurry of bubbles being blown at them...

...and how Matt peeled out of the parking lot in the old El Camino that was lent them for the getaway car.

It was a joyous day and one we will remember for a long time.

Kelsey is graduating...

2009-05-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

from 8th grade soon. Last evening we enjoyed a very special evening at Compass with her 8th grade friends and families. Pastor Luke has loved and cared for and taught these kids so well and I know Pastor Bobby is going to carry it on. I'm very thankful for the strong Bible teaching and excellent friends she will have through high school.

Matt's wedding...

2009-05-30T09:16:00.000-07:00

...is coming soon...one week. God has blessed us with another wonderful daughter-in-law (to be) and we are very excited for this wedding and to watch Matt and Laura grow as a couple. We have been busy buying clothes for the groomsmen and our family. I'm "test driving" a cake recipe and 3 6" pans today to make sure it's going to turn out just right for the wedding cake topper. It is a gluten free cake for them to share.

Pictures coming next week! :-)

In other news, Jack is eating and growing like a typical little boy...he's over 10 lbs now at 5 weeks old. We enjoy pictures and videos of him as Alyssa has time to take them and post. Those first few weeks are pretty hard on moms though - but she's doing really well. It'll sure be good to see all of them, Brian included, in September when he is on his R&R from Iraq.

Slideshow of Jack

2009-04-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

Jack is born!

2009-04-26T19:45:00.000-07:00

Jack came home today. He is eating really well and will soon be adding on some pounds. He's such a calm, easy going baby. Aunt Kelsey loves holding him!!

Pictures of Jack

2009-04-25T05:58:00.000-07:00

Jack was born on April 24th at 8:15 pm. He was 8 lbs 6 oz and 21 3/4 lbs. Has a 14" head - nice healthy baby.

Jack's birthday...

2009-04-24T09:41:00.000-07:00

The long awaited day has arrived. We are so blessed to be able to be here in OK in time for Jack's arrival. Alyssa is at the hospital as I write and is getting some help with pitocin to get the contractions going. Once things are moving along they will take her off of it and let the birth happen naturally. We are so excited to get to the hospital and be there for Jack's birth!! Pictures uploaded as we get them...

Home again...

2009-02-13T15:30:00.000-08:00

We had a good trip to Texas, Oklahoma and home again. One very fun thing was to be able to see Baby Jack on the 3D/4D ultrasound 100" screen. Check out Alyssa's and Brian's blog http://www.brianalyssa.blogspot.com/ to see the pictures.

Matt flew into OKC and was there to drive back with Kelsey and me as Dan had gone home early to get back to work. We decided to head south off of I-40 because of the snow storm hitting Flagstaff. We weren't exactly expecting to have snow anyway! On our last day's drive about 19 miles out of Las Cruces, NM we saw the first flakes falling. It was pretty dry and blew off the freeway pretty quickly. I know it was a whole lot less than they had gotten in Flagstaff - so we still made the right decision. Here are a few pictures of the high desert in southern NM. I realize snow isn't a big deal to a lot of you, but having lived in Southern California now for about 17 years I don't do a lot of driving in it. :-)

"That" time again...

2009-02-05T09:43:00.001-08:00

Well, the year has rushed past for Brian being home...it's time for deployment again. I guess the best thing about him leaving is that we can start the countdown for him coming home.

We are in TX to say good bye and help get Alyssa and their household goods moved up to OK to live with her folks this year. She is 30 weeks along - Jack will be here before long!

Matt's home...

2008-11-21T19:57:00.000-08:00

A week ago Thursday Matt was winging his way home to California and I didn't even know it! He was determined to make his arrival a surprise. I thought I had it figured out and that he would be home last Friday.

Kelsey knew he was coming home on Thursday and apparently so did a lot of other people at school...but they all kept the secret!

After work on Thursday I was sitting at the kitchen table and heard the door open. Jamey and Jeff are always going in and out and I was expecting Jeff home that day from San Francisco...so I didn't even look up. They usually go straight up to their room. But out of the corner of my eye I saw the person coming into the kitchen and looked up. It was Matt with a big grin on his face and a fistful of flowers. He looked so pleased with himself that he had surprised me. I gasped and said "Matt" and quickly got up to give him several big hugs. It was so good to know he's home!

He wasted no time getting settled in. By Sunday night he had purchased a whole bedroom set and put it all together including bookshelves, desk, dresser, bedside table, bed, mattress and linens. Plus, with Dan's help, he had painted the room and even had pictures on the wall. Moss will never grow under Matt's feet.

This Sunday he and I will drive up to San Luis Obispo to talk to a counselor Monday morning about transferring to Cal Poly. He has registered for Saddleback this coming spring. He's moving on to the next phase of his life with all the energy he has.

Alyssa's and Brian's blog...

2008-10-24T22:04:00.000-07:00

Alyssa started a blog about the pregnancy...it's fun to read and watch the baby bump grow! Brian has been out at NTC all this month, so he's going to be in for a big surprise when he sees how much she (and the baby) has grown. She's feeling Baby Collins move around a lot too...what a special time in their lives! The link is on the left for future reference.

Wow!! A grandbaby on the way...

2008-10-08T22:38:00.000-07:00

What excitement we feel knowing that a new little life is going to be joining our family. Alyssa and Brian are expecting their first baby in April next year. They are getting a blog started so I'll have the link up to that blog before long!

Alyssa has the blog up now - It's on the blog list as ...And Baby Makes Three!

Facing the Deployment Giant again!

2008-09-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

It looms in front of us - next February...another deployment for Brian. I know we will get through it just as we did last time...day by day, moment by moment depending on the Lord's protection and faithfulness. We don't know where he will be going - Iraq or Afghanistan. I'm so thankful for the Lord's sovereignty and the fact that I don't have to worry or fret. He is completely in control, He knows all that will happen and will walk with all of us each day.

Matt is going to be coming home soon...we're looking forward to integrating him back into the family while he's here. He will be applying to some 4 year colleges to finish his degree.

Dwelling in the shelter is the only place of peace...

Think on these things...

2008-06-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

In my Bible reading I'm following the Psalms along with others at the church we are attending. Today's reading was from Psalm 19 and 20. It struck me as I was reading Psalm 19:7-11 how similar this list is to Philippians 4:8.

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.
They are more precious than gold,than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned;in keeping them there is great reward.

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

The connection is pretty easily seen: keeping our minds on God's Word - His truth - we will receive guidance, our ways will be straight and in them is great reward. Paul says "And the God of peace will be with you." There are so many other benefits to meditating on God's word: our souls are restored; we gain wisdom; our hearts rejoice; our eyes are enlightened; we can trust God's judgements completely because they are completely righteous; we will fear the Lord - have deep respect and a desire to live righteously before Him.

While Brian and Matt were in Iraq and Afghanistan I really learned what it was to keep my mind on truth - and not on my fears and "what ifs." I could get so carried away with those thoughts if I had let my mind go there. By keeping my mind and thoughts on God's word, I was guarding my mind and focusing myself on God's promises and truth. I was able to know God's peace even though both boys were potentially in harms way at war.

Psalm 19 closes with these words in vs. 14. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and My Redeemer."

As I think on God's thoughts - His word - that is my prayer - that my words and the meditation of my heart will be acceptable to God - my rock and my Redeemer.

Today is Jamey's graduation!

2008-06-18T08:24:00.001-07:00

Here's a picture of Jamey when we first moved to California in the fall of 1992. Today he graduates from Mission Viejo High School with plans of continuing on to Saddleback Comm. College to work on his general ed and computer science classes. He also has becoming a chef in the back of his head...so we'll see.

Jamey has a smile that lights up his face. When he was a little boy he would make us all laugh with the funny little voice he would put on and we called him our Sunshine boy! Over the years he has worked hard on his music skills and enjoyed several successful years in Mission's Marching Band and Drumline. His junior year we enjoyed watching the Drumline take Gold at Nationals in Dayton, OH.

We're very proud of Jamey and the wonderful young man he has become. He loves the Lord and wants to walk with Him.

Congratulations Jamey! We love you very much!

We're home again

2008-05-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

I posted a bunch of pictures at this site: www.webshots.com

It was easier than blogging them all. We got up at 3:00 am Pacific time so we're pretty tired tonight and eager to get back in sync with our time zone. We had a wonderful time! Lots of good memories.

2008-05-21T20:22:00.000-07:00

Alyssa, Kelsey and I went shopping today. One item we needed was a necklace for Kelsey since we couldn't find the one we purchased in CA in time to bring it with us. So, we were successful in finding a pretty necklace and earrings for her dress. This afternoon, we both tried on our dresses to see how they would look and if we needed anything further. After a delicious dinner at Hapgoods which Alyssa cooked for us, we drove to the airport and picked up Matt. Aly had never met him before so we had a fun evening getting acquainted. Here are some pictures.

Dan gets in later tonight and both my dad and Brian get in tomorrow. Slowly but surely everyone is arriving!

Oklahoma for the wedding....

2008-05-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

Kelsey and I started our journey to OK through Texas. We visited Brian at his duplex in Harker Heights and had a great time meeting his fellow soldiers and hanging out with Brian. They have a very nice little place to start out with.

The Army has relented and is allowing two soldiers to attend the wedding...so Evan and Rick will be here to be Best Man and groomsman in the weddding!

Yesterday Kelsey and I drove to Edmond, OK where Alyssa's home is. We had a delicious dinner last evening with her and her parents. Here's a couple of pictures with Kelsey and Katie, Aly's horse.

Matt gets in tonight from Germany! He's in the air right now! Can't wait to hug him and spend some time with him. Alyssa has never met Matt so that will be fun. Dan is taking the pups over to Mary Ann's house and then getting to the airport and lands around midnight. The rest of them don't get here 'til Friday.

Leaving...on a jet plane....

2008-05-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

Kelsey and I fly out tomorrow to go to Texas to visit Brian for a couple of days and then drive to Edmond, OK to prepare for the wedding. I'm looking forward to seeing some soldiers who hadn't returned yet from Iraq by the time we needed to leave in January. Today, Brian told me, there is a ceremony honoring all the fallen and the Gold Star Families. He had dinner last night with Nick's parents.

The base restriction is still in effect so that will limit the number of soldiers attending the wedding including his best man and a groomsman. The Army sure does know how to mess things up! But, it will work out.

Pictures of the events coming soon.

Fun trip to Sacramento

2008-04-20T08:36:00.000-07:00

Since our 7th graders didn't go to Sacramento when they were in 4th grade, we decided to take them this year along with the 3 4th graders we have in our little school. We had a lot of fun. We visited the Jelly Belly factory in Fairfield, then saw the Capitol and the Railroad Museum that afternoon. We had dinner at Jakes Crab Shack that evening where the girls all bought matching shirts. The next day we toured the old Governor's Mansion. The last ones to live there were the Reagans - but only for 3 months. It was a beautiful old house - but I can see why they didn't want to live there. That afternoon we visited Sutter's Fort and learned a lot. We saw Patty Reed's doll - it's so small. Friday we had a beautiful drive up to Coloma and enjoyed making little leather bags for our gold and then panned for gold in the American River. It was a very fun trip and I think everyone enjoyed it very much. Here are some pictures.

The wedding....

2008-04-09T22:21:00.000-07:00

We are getting closer to Brian and Aly's wedding. I know there is a lot of stress going on in OK but out here in CA it's pretty low key. The boys still need to go get measured for their tuxes - they're ushers - and I just put the invitations to the rehearsal dinner in the mail. The lady who will be catering the dinner still needs to call me - she's been on vacation. I bought my dress, but need shoes. Kelsey has shoes and dress. We bought the tickets for the 4 kids to go - Jamey, Sarah, Jeff and Caitlin. We also decided that instead of driving over, Kelsey and I will fly. Dan used miles on Alaska and got us free tickets from John Wayne straight through to Dallas. We're going to visit Brian for a couple of days in Killeen and then drive up to Edmond, OK the next week. Dan used free miles to go over there on Southwest. He's flying back with us from Dallas. It'll be so nice to have our family all together again...hopefully I'll have a new picture of the 5 kids to put on my blog! :-)

One year....

2008-03-28T22:07:00.000-07:00

Brian is hearing that he will most likely be returning to Iraq in about a year...that's a long time away and a lot can happen. I need to keep my mind on truth and not borrow trouble or worry about the future...God knows it all.

I know he's keeping his mind focused on the here and now...he's getting married in May and is enjoying the days he can get out to play golf. Just taking things one day at a time.

Matt will be home this summer in time to start school in the fall. I'm thankful that his paperwork is moving along.

Dwelling in His shelter is a good, safe place to stay!

Update on Billy and other soldiers....

2008-03-14T10:06:00.001-07:00

It's interesting after writing that post "He restores my soul" so recently, that these attacks have happened and affected moms on our small support group so directly. It's like God is saying to me to help carry the burden that these moms, my friends, are carrying. He does give rest, and that rest strengthens us to help others carry their burdens.

This week has been a very difficult one for our soldiers in Iraq. There have been several attacks and a number of soldiers killed. It seems that our little support network has been affected by each one of these attacks. We need to be vigilant in praying for protection for our soldiers and the eradication of these terrorists who not only inflict pain and horror to our military and their families, but also to the Iraqi people who just want to live their lives in peace. We also need to do everything we can to defeat those people running for president who want us to pull out with no thought to the long term consequences. The terrorists are NOT going away easily...America has to continue the fight.

Billy is still in the hospital but will be getting out soon. He will be put on a desk job for a while. He lost his best friend, Mac. Another friend's son is leaving to go back after his 18 day R&R. His family needs prayer for strength as they say goodbye and send him back to war. Another friend's son lost several soldiers in his unit. And another mother's son lost his best friend. These are just from our little support group online.

Please pray for these soldiers as they cope with these losses...their brothers. Pray for the chaplains as they minister to these soldiers that God will give them words they need, words that can send these soldiers back to the battlefield with clear minds and courage knowing that God is with them and promises to never leave them or forsake them. Pray for the families who have lost their son, their husband, their daddy. Pray for friends to surround them with love, care and long term prayer.

Please pray for Spc Billy - injured today

2008-03-10T18:43:00.000-07:00

One of my Army mom friends, whom I met on the way to Ft. Hood in Januray, heard today that her son was injured in a suicide bomb which killed 5 soldiers. I don't know yet how serious his injuries are. He just got married last month when he was home on R&R. I know his family would appreciate your prayers and also remember the other two injured as well as the 5 families who lost their loved ones today.

He restores my soul...

2008-03-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what to title this entry...I am so aware that there are many Soldiers and Marines still in danger over in Iraq, but with Brian home now my mind has definitely been relieved of the constant awareness of his being far away. I told an Army mom friend, whose soldier came home at the same time Brian did, that my mind is "lightened" - which is the best way I can describe how it feels.

Psalm 23 starts out with these words:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he restores my soul.

After 15 months of having Brian in Iraq, and during that time also having Matt in Afghanistan for 6 months, I truly do feel that God is giving me this season to lie down in green pastures, and He is restoring my soul.

I'm very thankful for a God who meets all of my needs and knows the seasons to take me through as I dwell in His shelter.

Sea World

2008-03-10T11:03:00.001-07:00

We had a really fun day at Sea World last Wednesday. It was a homeschool field trip and the weather was perfect. Here's a great picture of the 7th grade girls standing in the spray from the ride "Atlantis."

Mia - our newest member...

2008-02-20T11:13:00.000-08:00

We have added a sweet little puppy to our household. Her name is Mia and she is a miniature, longhaired dachsund. She and Misty are getting along pretty well - Misty needs some extra hugs and pats but overall she's taken on the role of protector pretty well. I've discovered that Misty has a camera phobia. As soon as she hears the camera turn on, she'll get up from whatever she's doing and leave the room. It's pretty funny actually.

Here are some pictures.

Shower for Brian and Aly

2008-02-10T17:20:00.000-08:00

This afternoon we had a wonderful shower for Brian and Alyssa put on by old friends. It was great seeing everyone and for them to meet Aly and see Brian again. Here are some pictures. Most of the moms who came have been our friends since we first moved down here to CA from the NW in 1992. Brian grew up with their kids and was in Boy Scouts with their sons.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig

2008-01-20T16:34:00.000-08:00

My mother used to always say that when we got home from a trip...so that's what we say!

After one long day yesterday to Tucson, AZ from Ft. Hood and another shorter day today, we are home again. We're so thankful to the Lord for his protection on our trip and for bringing Brian home safely.

Home Sweet Home

2008-01-19T03:38:00.000-08:00

Brian got the keys to his new place on Friday and we spent quite a bit of time at Walmart getting the place outfitted. He's getting his furniture this coming week and today Alyssa's parents are bringing down his big TV that he purchased while still over in Iraq! :-)

Friday afternoon we had lunch with Army mom Lynn from New Hampshire and her family. Her soldier, Rick, is due in this morning. Rick was at Courage with Brian and wrote several stories I published on Brian's blog earlier in their deployment. We're sorry we're missing him - Welcome Home Sgt. Rick!

A new home...

2008-01-18T05:52:00.000-08:00

We spent the day yesterday shopping for furniture in Austin and finding a place for Brian to live. We were successful in both items. Brian found a brand new duplex built out in Harker Heights which will be perfect for him and eventually Alyssa when she moves down after they're married. It's close enough to base to not be far away, but it's definitely out of the congestion of living close to Ft. Hood. We'll get his stuff unloaded that we brought with us from CA and buy him some groceries to get him started. It's nice to know he has a good place to live!

We leave tomorrow on our journey back home with a long day's drive to Tucson (14 hours) and then on to CA on Sunday. It'll be good to be back home, but this week has been wonderful!

He's Home!!!

2008-01-16T14:15:00.000-08:00

It was a cold, but exciting morning as we waited for Brian to arrive. We got to the field and hung out in the large warming tents for about an hour. They announced that the plane had landed about an hour later and we made our way out to the bleachers. The horses were out there ready for their part in the ceremony. We decided the best place for Brian to see us was at the top of the bleachers - so we made our stand up there! We're pretty sure we had the largest sign out there. Brian later told us he could see it from the bus.

When the horses moved out to the field we knew it would only be a few minutes until the busses arrived. From our place on the bleachers we could look behind us and see them begin to arrive from around the corner! We were all yelling and clapping (and crying) as they made their way onto the street in front of Cooper Field. They stopped and we could see the soldiers getting off the bus and get into formation behind the busses. When they were all ready, the busses pulled away and the soldiers started to move forward on Cooper Field. After a prayer and a very short ceremony, the soldiers were released to their families. What a joyous reunion we had!

Welcome home sign...

2008-01-15T14:56:00.000-08:00

We spent a fun afternoon making a Welcome Home sign for Brian...he can't miss us!

Wednesday morning ceremony...

2008-01-15T09:36:00.001-08:00

Well, it's confirmed that we need to be at Cooper Field for the 10:45 welcome home ceremony tomorrow morning!! We are making posters tonight so he can find us up in the bleachers. I still need to get some kleenex and waterproof mascara. It may be raining...but the sun will be shining for us no matter what!

Kelsey is getting some school work done today, Dan working from here and I'm enjoying just relaxing.

Monday - house hunting

2008-01-15T09:20:00.000-08:00

Most of Monday was spent driving around Killeen and Harker Heights looking at apartments and available houses for rent. Brian will be living off post so will be in need of housing. We drove up to one house where the property manager met us and as we all tumbled out of the van he laughed and said "I wasn't expecting a posse!" So, that's what we are - Kris and Joe (Aly's parents), Aly and Kelsey, Dan and I - the posse!

More Friends and a Shower...

2008-01-14T05:29:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning I was woken early by a text message from Brian. They were on their way to Kuwait. I think every family here rejoices when their soldier is finally out of Iraq. Now it's the waiting game to hear which flight he's on and get the call. Several Bravo Co. soldiers will be arriving today and we are hoping the rest of them tomorrow. We'll see.

We did enjoy having a little shower for Alyssa put on by Jenn. Her friend Sandra was with her and we enjoyed a fun time together and seeing Jenn's new house. Evan has a lot to look forward to! It was nice meeting Laurie and her son Jordan who is 6. Jordan's daddy is coming home today! Lori and John have been good friends to Brian here at Ft. Hood.

Kelsey, Sandra, Alyssa and Jenn

Later I went and met another Army friend, Sonya, and her family who are here for their soldiers arrival today. We went to Pizza Hut for dinner and had a nice time. Sonya heard from Justin at 4:00 this morning - he's on US soil! Happy News!

In the picture: Scott, Sonya, me, Kelsey and Karen (It was nice of Pizza Hut to provide the backdrop :)!)

Saturday - all the way to Ft. Hood Texas...

2008-01-12T19:52:00.000-08:00

We had a long day again today...west Texas is about the most boring place to drive through. We drove about 24 hours in total. Dan was driving Brian's car - it's been at our house the past 15 months - and I was driving our van. So we are both very tired. We finally pulled into Killeen about 7:15 this evening....and then off to a good dinner at Olive Garden with Army mom and dad...Bill and Karen. Hopefully their son Jason will be coming in on one of the Sunday flights.

This evening as we were driving and the sun was setting, the sky was turning such a pretty palette of colors....this picture really doesn't do it justice...that's Brian's white car up ahead.

On our way....

2008-01-11T21:16:00.001-08:00

Well, 4:15 am came pretty early this morning. We were on the road by 6:00 and got out of town pretty quickly - very thankful we weren't headed into LA but rather OUT. We had a very nice lunch in Phoenix with two Army moms, Valerie and Tammy. Their sons, Billy and Jeremiah are both in Iraq. Please pray for them...as much as we would like, the IED danger still is not over.

We got on the road again after a good lunch and made it to Las Cruces around 8:00 pm. The stars are so bright out in the desert!

While IM'ing with Alyssa and Brian, we found out that Brian will be coming onto Cooper Field for the morning ceremony on Tuesday! (Thank you Jenn!) We're so happy to hear he's going to be on the way soon!

Our Welcome Home trip starts soon....

2008-01-07T09:16:00.000-08:00

Last time we left for Ft. Hood, October of 2006, it was with a heavy heart...saying goodbye. We are leaving Thursday, Jan 10th for Ft. Hood with very thankful hearts mixed with very sad hearts...for the soldiers who aren't returning. My joy is tempered because of another mother's sorrow and pain. I can't begin to answer the "why" questions...I don't know. Only the Lord knows and I have to accept not knowing and trust His wisdom.

Happy New Year....

2008-01-02T17:23:00.001-08:00

This year, the 'happy' in Happy New Year really means something. With Brian coming home from a 15 month deployment, we are all very excited that he will be back in the US and in a more "normal" life.

Our normal for the past year has been thinking he's 11 hours ahead of us - his nights are our days and vice versa. His normal is sleeping in a tent that creaks and groans all night long from the winds and hearing the snores of dozens of other guys. His normal is seeing his fiancee with a webcam for the past 11 months and asking her to marry him over the phone. Our normal has been multiple trips to the postoffice to mail packages and sitting endlessly on the computer hoping that we'll get to IM with one of the boys. His normal has been wearing ACU's day after day after day after day after day. Our normal has been anxiously watching or reading the news for any information from NW Baghdad. Our normal has been walking through the grocery store or Trader Joes and thinking about what he is missing and would enjoy from the states...packages of tuna? chocolate microwave cakes? Starbucks coffee? Our normal has been waiting for a very long deployment to end...his normal the same.

Yes, it will be nice to reclaim "normal" again. Normal normal, you know?

Keep watching this blog for updates on his return!

2007-12-14T09:45:00.001-08:00

Make a slideshow!

The Traveller's Return

2007-12-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

A friend's son has returned from Iraq. He surprised his mom...wasn't expected for a few more days. He had left this poem for her propped open with his picture...

The Traveller's Return
by Robert Southey

Sweet to the morning traveller
The song amid the sky,
Where, twinkling in the dewy light.
The skylark soars on high.

And cheering to the traveller
The gales that round him play,
When faint and heavily he drags
Along his noontide way.

And when beneath the unclouded sun
Full wearily toils he,
The flowing water makes to him
A soothing melody.

And when the evening light decays,
And all is calm around.
There is sweet music to his ear
In the distant sheep bell's sound.

But O! of all delightful sounds
Of evening or of morn,
The sweetest is the voice of love
That welcomes his return.

One month left...

2007-12-09T17:05:00.000-08:00

Time is moving quickly and before I know it, I'll be packing my bags for Ft. Hood. Yesterday morning I had recieved an email and the support and kindness touched my heart...and suddenly I found myself tearing up...it was like the email just filled up the emotional bucket to where it hit overflow...I could tell this was going to be a "blowout" so I quickly went upstairs and got in the shower (I didn't want to explain my unexplainable tears to my 12 year old) and cried it all out...the light at the end of the tunnel, the relief and joy of hugging my son who has been gone for going on 15 months, the profound sorrow for my friends whose sons won't be returning home with their unit, the intense joy of hugging my son, seeing his face in person - not just on a webcam, feeling his joy at being reunited with his fiancee, standing on Cooper Field as the buses roll up with him on it, grief as I know my friends are wishing their sons, too, were "almost home" but never will be, watching his face as he takes in how much his little sister has changed over the last year....all the intense emotions this coming home brings.....I cried for it all....let it all out....it's almost over.

Things I’ve learned this year...

2007-11-27T21:23:00.000-08:00

1. You don’t need to ask God for things He’s already promised. Instead thank Him for them. He has promised He will never leave us or forsake us…so don’t ask Him to always be with you…thank Him that He IS always with you and ask Him to show you His presence in very real ways.
2. Keep your mind on truth. Satan is the father of lies and he loves to have us worry and get us all riled up about what “might be.” What “might be” isn’t truth. So think on truth – and good, pure, lovely things – and keep it there. When your mind wanders, bring it back to truth.
3. He will give you rest after the trial.
4. But He wants to walk with us through the hard days to show us His grace and power that isn’t visible during the resting times. Without the trials we don’t get to know the depth of His grace. His strength is shown to us in our weakness.
5. His peace is mind blowing. It’s almost too easy. When you understand WHO God is, how big He is and how sufficient He is, you can completely trust Him and His love.
6. His peace will guard you…it will guard your mind, helping you to keep thinking on truth and it will guard your heart from letting anxiety in.
7. He wants me to stay under the trial until He is finished teaching me what He wants me to learn. I need to be willing to stay under that trial as long as He wants me there. I can only do that when I trust and understand His unfailing love for me, unquestioningly and unreservedly. When my heart is in the right place and I am willing to stay there as long as He wants, only then will He remove the trial from me, if He chooses to.
8. His grace is always enough…enough so I am satisfied completely.
9. His ways are so much higher than mine, why would I want mine?
10. He is always faithful, He is always good. Always.

Time and Calendars....

2007-11-14T14:36:00.000-08:00

Every year I give my family a calendar for Christmas. My photographer son gets a new Ansel Adams and Jamey gets a Tolkein calendar. Kelsey of course gets the cute kitties and miniature schnauzers. When Matt was in Afghanistan, he took a picture and submitted it for entry in the 2008 Stars And Stripes Calendar. His photo took one of the honors and is the photo for March. You can purchase it here. I love Ellen Stouffer's art - her calendars are published through Lang. Each month there is a different verse of Scripture and beautiful art work to go with it. Gooseberry Patch makes a fun calendar with recipes and water colors that I enjoy all year long in my kitchen.

I like to keep my calendars from past years - although I don't do much with them. Every once in a while I will go back to see when something happened...but mostly they just become part of the forgotten past...still hanging around but not necessary or relevant.

This current year's calendar was one we hoped would see a date with Brian coming back from Iraq - and Feb 19th was circled in excitement of seeing him for R&R. April we had the fun of winning Gold for Jamey's Drum Line at Nationals. August saw Matt home from Afghanistan as well as Kelsey's 12th birthday. October came and went though with Brian not returning...his unit was extended by 3 months back in April. At least we had several months to get used to the idea! Still to come on this year's calendar is the joy of having Matt home for Christmas - barely - he's getting in Dec 24th - but still here! YAY!!! The day before he arrives, Dan and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary...time does fly!

I always enjoy looking through the coming year's calendar - noting when our family birthdays will be, what day Christmas will be on, when school will end and what days we might take our summer vacation. In January we will celebrate Brian's return from Iraq and Jamey and Jeff both have significant birthdays - their 18th and 21st. Brian gets married in May and Jamey graduates from high school in June. Kelsey will become a teenager in August. Matt will come home from Germany at some point. Dan and I will take a 30th anniversary trip - not sure where or when. We have lots to look forward to.

I'm filling in the family birthdays and anniversaries - maybe I'll be better about sending cards this year...or at least an email card. I know the dates will become filled with appointments and dates to remember, journeys to come and places to see. All along, we will see God's faithfulness, His love, His comfort, His companionship as He shares in our joys and our sorrows. We continue to dwell in His shelter knowing He will be with us through each day of the new calendar.

A Year Ago Today...

2007-10-29T09:22:00.000-07:00

It was probably one of the hardest days of my life. Saying goodbye to my oldest son who was leaving for Iraq...how do you get your head around knowing you are hugging him maybe for the last time, seeing his eyes and his pain at having to say goodbye. Only a couple of months later I was saying goodbye to my other son, Matt, who was also off to a warzone - Afghanistan. Another hardest day. Within a few short weeks there were losses to Brian's Company that took our breath away...like we had been socked in the stomach. How do you deal with that shock, that pain, knowing it may be your son next.

Only by God's grace and strength. Only by keeping your mind on truth. Only by praying back scriptures to the Lord, thanking Him for His promises to be our strong tower, our fortress, our shelter and our strength. Thanking Him that He had promised to give our soldiers courage and determination to get out there and fight the battle day after day. Sometimes the battle is boredom. Other times it's the pain of losing their best friend. The battle can be hunger or lack of sleep. Living in close quarters with 50 other guys - no privacy - no alone time. Praying for our soldiers to endure through the disappointment of extension - knowing they would be there for 3 months longer than what they had planned on.

For me - the way to get through this year has been to keep my mind on truth and not let Satan creep in there with his lies, doubts and fears.

Matt is back in Germany for a year. I'm so thankful for God's goodness to him in bringing him safely back to Europe for this year.

Brian only has a short time left. The area he and his unit work in is one of the safest in Iraq. I'm so thankful for this. I'm praying for them to finish strong. The countdown calendar is on the pantry door and we faithfully put our sticker on each day - counting down to the day we leave to travel back to Ft. Hood to welcome them home. The joy of anticipating this return almost wipes out the pain of knowing they would have been home this month if they hadn't gotten extended. But God gives grace in the disappointments and He knows each of our days and what is best for us. We can always trust Him. He is always good. His Word is always truth. These things we can count on as we continue to dwell in His shelter.

Down to the last 100 days....

2007-10-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

As I come to the end of this year of deployment for the boys, I am reflecting back to what I’ve learned and how the Lord has been so faithful to me and to my children.

I started out last fall with wondering how I was going to cope with Brian being deployed to Iraq for a year. At the time, we didn't know that Matt would also be deployed to Afghanistan for 6 months. God gave me verses to challenge me to keep my mind on truth and not let fear and wandering thoughts control me. Planning his funeral wasn’t truth at that moment and it wasn’t doing anything to help me or give me strength. I knew that if that did become my reality and truth for me, that God would provide all my needs at that time. I determined to follow Philippians 4:6-8 – to think on truth and to know that God would guard my heart and also would keep my heart. This is where I wrote about these verses and thoughts.

Looking back over the year – I can testify that God is so faithful in keeping, guarding and giving me peace. Whenever I get anxious, I ask myself if I am thinking on truth – and if I’m not I start by thanking God for who He is and opening my hand with my sons in them and giving them back to Him. As painful as the thought of losing either of my sons to acts of war – or my sons at home to accidents on LA freeways – I know I will see them again in heaven and I am not without hope. God is faithful to meet each need as it comes.

As Brian’s deployment winds down – we are down to less than 100 days - anxious thoughts abound…we’ve all heard of those deaths of soliders just days or weeks before redeploying and the heartache of the loss. Somehow the joy of thinking about their return and imagining the reunion is tempered by these thoughts of tragedy and how to cope. And slowly but surely, fear and anxious thoughts squirm in and steal all the peace and joy God has given.

So, as this deployment winds down, I am more determined than ever to keep my mind on truth – to let myself imagine the joy of reunion with no fear – knowing that if God does choose to call Brian home in the next few weeks that He will give me grace and strength for each day. But that’s not where my mind is staying – it’s on God’s love and faithfulness and that He loves to give good gifts to His children. He is my strong tower, He is my shelter and I am choosing to continue to dwell there.

God is good all the time...

2007-08-18T21:02:00.001-07:00

There's a new song put out by Point of Grace called "You are good." It's a great song - I have it as my song on my Myspace. I love the saying "God is good all the time, and all the time, God is good."
It's a truth we can depend on - even when things look bleak - even when circumstances around us look, feel and are awful! God remains the same - all loving, all merciful, all faithful, no limit to His grace - always good.

Here's a great verse. Nahum 1:7 - "The Lord is good - a stronghold in the day of trouble, and He knows those who trust in Him."

Go here to order POG's new album...I'm excited to get it. I love this song...and the truth of it "You are good" is a truth that needs to sink into the depths of my soul as I continue to dwell in His shelter.

Stones of Remembrance…

2007-08-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

Joshua 4:4-7

So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the Lord your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”

Joshua 4:20-24

And Joshua set up at Gilgal the twelve stones they had taken out of the Jordan.He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan just what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.”

The people of Israel knew that God had promised this land to them. They were approaching the entrance to this Promised Land - but came to the Jordan River and saw no way across. This generation hadn't seen the Red Sea part - that was a previous generation's experience. But Joshua had and he knew that God was mighty and able to get them across on dry land. The experience of seeing God part waters in such a way must have been an incredible thing to see - and God wanted the Israelites to know His power in a visible way and that He was going to give them what He had promised - this land flowing with milk and honey.

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There are times in our lives that the Lord takes us through extraordinary circumstances and shows Himself powerful and mighty in those difficult times. Even though those times are painful and often heart breaking, when we see them as opportunities for God’s love and strength to be shown to us, God can use them in our lives as a benchmark or a stone of memorial or remembrance.

I went through 4 years of infertility and have written about it here. It became for me a time that I could look back on and see how God used that very painful time in my life to grow me up and realize that He only wanted the best for me and until I wanted what HE wanted, I wasn’t going to have peace. Over the years – and now with Brian in Iraq and Matt just recently redeployed out of Afghanistan – God has used that faith building time in my life to rest in Him and His promises.

It’s hard to welcome difficult patches in our lives…some of them lasting longer than others. But God has promised strength for the day and joy in the morning. He wants to give us those stones of remembrance for the difficult days ahead – a place in our lives we can look back on and say “God showed Himself to me in such a real way and I experienced His peace that passes all understanding.” Those stones will bring back to mind His promises and knowledge that “the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.” Dwelling in His shelter is the only place to find that peace.

One soldier getting 'back home'....

2007-07-30T21:38:00.000-07:00

Matt is on his way back to Germany and will soon be home on leave. The 6 months since he's been gone have gone by quickly...Brian's deployment seems to drag on and on...

God knows what He is doing in taking them through different deployments and different circumstances. We are each on our own journey...God has each road tailor made for the lessons He wants us to learn. We can trust His goodness and love in each circumstance.

The prayer by FDR - June 6, 1944

2007-06-07T17:43:00.000-07:00

This is the prayer originally entitled "Let Our Hearts Be Stout" written by President Franklin D. Roosevelt as Allied troops were invading German-occupied Europe during World War II. The prayer was read to the nation on radio on the evening of D-Day, June 6, 1944, while American, British and Canadian troops were fighting to establish beach heads on the coast of Normandy in France.

The previous night, June 5, the President had also been on the radio to announce that Allied troops had entered Rome. The spectacular news that Rome had been liberated was quickly surpassed by news of the gigantic D-Day invasion which began at 6:30 a.m. on June 6. By midnight about 57,000 American and 75,000 British and Canadian soldiers had gotten ashore. Allied losses on D-Day included 2,500 killed and 8,500 wounded.

My Fellow Americans:

Last night, when I spoke with you about the fall of Rome, I knew at that moment that troops of the United States and our Allies were crossing the Channel in another and greater operation. It has come to pass with success thus far.

And so, in this poignant hour, I ask you to join with me in prayer:

Almighty God: Our sons, pride of our nation, this day have set upon a mighty endeavor, a struggle to preserve our Republic, our religion, and our civilization, and to set free a suffering humanity.

Lead them straight and true; give strength to their arms, stoutness to their hearts, steadfastness in their faith.

They will need Thy blessings. Their road will be long and hard. For the enemy is strong. He may hurl back our forces. Success may not come with rushing speed, but we shall return again and again; and we know that by Thy grace, and by the righteousness of our cause, our sons will triumph.

They will be sore tried, by night and by day, without rest -- until the victory is won. The darkness will be rent by noise and flame. Men's souls will be shaken with the violences of war.

For these men are lately drawn from the ways of peace. They fight not for the lust of conquest. They fight to end conquest. They fight to liberate. They fight to let justice arise, and tolerance and goodwill among all Thy people. They yearn but for the end of battle, for their return to the haven of home.

Some will never return. Embrace these, Father, and receive them, Thy heroic servants, into Thy kingdom.

And for us at home -- fathers, mothers, children, wives, sisters, and brothers of brave men overseas, whose thoughts and prayers are ever with them -- help us, Almighty God, to rededicate ourselves in renewed faith in Thee in this hour of great sacrifice.

Many people have urged that I call the nation into a single day of special prayer. But because the road is long and the desire is great, I ask that our people devote themselves in a continuance of prayer. As we rise to each new day, and again when each day is spent, let words of prayer be on our lips, invoking Thy help to our efforts.

Give us strength, too -- strength in our daily tasks, to redouble the contributions we make in the physical and the material support of our armed forces.

And let our hearts be stout, to wait out the long travail, to bear sorrows that may come, to impart our courage unto our sons wheresoever they may be.

And, O Lord, give us faith. Give us faith in Thee; faith in our sons; faith in each other; faith in our united crusade. Let not the keeness of our spirit ever be dulled. Let not the impacts of temporary events, of temporal matters of but fleeting moment -- let not these deter us in our unconquerable purpose.

With Thy blessing, we shall prevail over the unholy forces of our enemy. Help us to conquer the apostles of greed and racial arrogances. Lead us to the saving of our country, and with our sister nations into a world unity that will spell a sure peace -- a peace invulnerable to the schemings of unworthy men. And a peace that will let all of men live in freedom, reaping the just rewards of their honest toil.

Thy will be done, Almighty God.

Amen.

Franklin D. Roosevelt - June 6, 1944

Good article on Iraq...

2007-04-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

Honoring our commitment is the basis for Adam Graham's article found here.

A letter from a mom in response to a petition to block extending tours...

2007-04-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

A proud Army mom has said it well...I asked her if I could copy her email on this blog...Thanks Lyn!

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To all Americans:

Military families usually keep their mouths shut. People who are not involved in deployment first hand do not understand what it is like...especially in the middle of an "unpopular war." So I am going to tell you what it is like because I am tired of keeping my mouth shut.

Since Viet Nam, we as a nation have learned to give lip service to the military. With one hand Americans slap a Support Our Troops magnet on the back of their vehicle while the other hand signs petitions to bring our troops home. Well, this is America and you are entitled to your opinion but I am entitled to mine. And the opinion of this mother is you cannot support our troops without supporting their objective. No one wants war. Especially mothers. We give life. We don't want to take it away.

I am the mother of PFC Justin *** who is currently serving in Baghdad. Of course I want him to come home. Of course I worry about him every minute of every hour of every day. I wouldn't be a mom if I didn't...but my son believes in what he is doing. He believes that the Iraqi people need our help and in spite of media reports he knows that there are people that want us there...people that thank him every day for what he does. They are the every day people caught in the middle between two warring factions. They are the people, like you and I, that have jobs and kids and dreams. They dream of peace. They dream of a house with a yard and a fence. They dream that one day their children will walk to school without passing dead bodies dumped on the streets. I know this to be true because the Iraqi people whose lives have touched my son's life have told him these things. And my son would not lie to me.

Justin volunteered to go to Iraq. No one made him go. He believes that all people should be allowed their own brand of democracy and freedom. He does not seek to make Iraq like the United States. He looks to the Iraqi's to lead the way and build a democracy that suits their way of life. He has also seen first hand the results of terrorist's tactics and knows that if we do not succeed in Iraq; the United States can look forward to more days like 09/01/01. He is not ready to leave Iraq until the job is done. He is unwilling to dishonor the memories of his fallen comrades...those that have died in the name of freedom and honor.

If you really want to "support our troops" get involved with local groups that are involved with sending our soldiers things that they need while they are far away. All the political wrangling in Congress has left a gap. My son is eating freeze dried food (military rations) as a regular diet. He gets a hot meal about every three days. Luckily, he is living in sector in Baghdad and the Iraqi's give him dinner sometimes. (You know, the ones that don't want us there.)

Our soldiers need your support in the form of cards, letters, snacks, sundries, phone cards, etc. They need to know that they are appreciated and supported. They need the American people to get behind them. They don't need petitions. They don't need anti war protesters showing up at the funerals of fallen soldiers. And neither do their mothers. Thank you for letting me express my opinion and I have no objection to you passing this on. In fact, in the interest of freedom, I hope you do.

Sincerely,Lyn *****
proud mother of PFC Justin ***** currently serving in Baghdad

My words...

2007-04-13T23:00:00.000-07:00

On Monday after Easter I was IM'ing with Brian in Iraq. I was telling him how it's hard to live so far away from family during the holidays because I feel so isolated. He IM'd - "haha, YOU feel isolated?" I immediately realized that any feelings of isolation I might have are trivial to how he and Matt and all of our troops overseas feel around the holidays or anytime. I apologized to him and he assured me, laughingly, it was OK - he knew what I was saying....but it brought home again to me how easy it is to be wrapped up in my own pettyness and not really thinking when I use words like "isolated" how that may affect others. We have such a selfish streak in us.

I haven't talked with him since they've heard about the extension...I don't expect them home until February '08. His R&R was in Feb so it will be just short of a year.

Matt is even more isolated than Brian. We haven't heard from him in over 2 weeks now. There's been a death in their unit from an IED. Please pray for the Masterson family as they've lost their son and for his wife of less than a year. May God give them all the comfort, strength, courage and grace they will need in the coming months.

In the Valley..

2007-04-11T17:05:00.000-07:00

In the Valley

When you lead me to the valley of vision
I can see you in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn't be my decision
It's here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley's where you make me more like Christ

Chorus:
Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You're near with every breath
In the valley

In the daytime there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into the darkness
The more I see their radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley's where your power is revealed

Sovereign Grace Ministries

Thoughts on being an Army mom...and broken hearts

2007-03-29T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well, this has been on my mind for a while and I guess I just need to post it and think it through as I do. It may come out a little jumbled.

I'm a part of a couple Army mom boards where the support is incredible and irreplaceable. Anyone who is in a place in their lives of stress, whether it is as a mother of twins, a mother or family member of someone with a chronic illness or disability, whatever it may be, benefits from having a support group. I've been very thankful for the many army moms I've met and receive encouragement, support and prayer from.

One of the things that I have observed (and I've been guilty of) is the use of hyperbole when talking about our feelings about our soldiers - whether they've just left for Basic, they are injured, or been deployed, haven't heard from them in weeks etc. It is very hard when our soldiers leave our homes. (I'm thankful that both my sons left for the army at age 21 and had some college under their belts. If they had left right out of high school it would have been more difficult, I'm sure). However, there were very painful days as they both left home and I realized I was moving into a new chapter of my life...change is seldom easy.

The thing I'm trying to say here is that I'm really tired of army moms saying things like "my heart is broken" when their soldiers leave to go to Basic, deployed or whatever. That phrase to me is over used...and it's the one that sticks in my craw.

YES - Army life is hard and being a mom (or any family member) of a soldier is hard. Moms remember their soldier as a baby, toddler, cute little kindergartner and all of our lives we have been focused on raising them and keeping them safe. Our hearts ARE very vulnerable - no doubt about it. Our chicks are out in the big, bad world and it truly is scary!

HOWEVER - and this is where my beef is: I've met and looked into the eyes of a mom whose heart is truly broken; who grieves because she will NEVER hear her son's voice again, never have another hug from him, never see that flashing grin or hear his laugh. Her tears flow easily, her sorrow is palpable, her shoulders shake with grief as she sinks her head into her arms with her weeping. The kleenex is ever present, she hasn't worn makeup in months. My friend hangs on to every memory she has of her son, her soldier. She has no more memories to make with him. This is a broken heart, my friends, and I will never again say my heart is broken unless I walk in her shoes.

There are many broken hearted moms, all with a Gold star someplace in their homes or at the end of a chain around their necks.

Every email, IM or phone call I get from my soldiers I will be hugely thankful for. I won't ever take them for granted anymore.

I am not trying to diminish in ANY way how hard it is to have your soldier in a war zone. Knowing that your child is in danger and in the presence of evil is a scary thing - no doubt about it. Releasing them to God's protection is the only thing to fall back on and rest in. What I am encouraging any army mom to do is to keep perspective and use words that show a trust in God and a place of honor for those moms who truly have broken hearts.

I pray for my friend and her husband daily, that God would bring comfort to them and that their hearts would heal. There will always be a huge hole in their hearts, an irreplaceable, unfillable hole - but I pray that someday they will be able to say that God has brought healing and their hearts are no longer broken.

A great story about a little girl and a soldier...

2007-03-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

Here's a story from Guideposts about a 4th grader who encouraged a wounded soldier in Kuwait...get your kleenex box!

Annalynn - she's a Clark now...

2007-03-22T21:05:00.000-07:00

Ruth and Troy have been in China since March 16 and have gotten their little (energetic) bundle of joy. You can read more at their blog, Journey to Annalynn.

Brian's R&R

2007-03-12T16:13:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful time with Brian while he was home. He enjoyed deep sea fishing with his dad even though he didn't catch anything.

But Dad hit the jackpot with the largest fish!

2007-03-02T16:57:00.000-08:00

Giver of life, creator of all that is lovely,
Teach me to sing the words to your song;
I want to feel the music of living
And not fear the sad songs
But from them make new songs
Composed of both laughter and tears.

Teach me to dance to the sounds of your world
and your people,
I want to move in rhythm with your plan,
Help me to try to follow your leading
To risk even falling
To rise and keep trying
Because you are leading the dance.

Author Unknown

My little niece is coming from China!!

2007-03-02T15:45:00.001-08:00

Ruth and Troy got their travel papers today so they are soon on their way to China to pick up Annalynn! We are so excited and happy for them!

Check out this link for more on this story: Journey to Annalynn

Brian is home...

2007-02-23T08:09:00.000-08:00

...for R&R. We are loving having him home...God is good. He is off to Oklahoma to visit Aly for a few days and will be home next week. I love seeing his messy room (didn't take very long)!

Brian and Kelsey at the airport Wednesday afternoon

Prayer for our troops...

2007-02-18T08:48:00.001-08:00

Hearts are heavy now Dear Lord,
For war is looming there
Our prayers are calling out to you
Our thoughts too hard to bear
Be with our loved ones--they need you
Guide them, lead them, see them through
Bless our leader for we know
He asks your blessings and needs them so
Protect the innocent, shield their lives
As bombs and missiles streak the skies
Open our hearts and fill us with grace
Guard our loved ones in that place
This I say in earnest prayer
Thank you Lord
I know you're there

Boys are doing fine...

2007-02-01T20:12:00.000-08:00

Both boys have decent communication tools - we're hearing from them more regularly. They can both IM and both have good connections via phone. I'm so thankful for this.

I have found that it is more productive and peaceful for me to spend my time thanking the Lord for His promises - such as "I will never leave you nor forsake you" and "my grace is sufficient for you" and "I have loved you with an everlasting love" - than it is asking Him to protect the boys. He's already promised me that He will never leave them and that He loves them far more than I do and His strength and power are far greater than I could ever imagine. Taking care of them is part of His character - who He is. "I will be to you everything that I am."

It's kinda like my kids asking me over and over and over again to do something that is in my normal routine - like make dinner. "Please mom, make dinner tonight." A little later..."mom, please make dinner, oh mom, please don't forget to make dinner." I've already told them I would, it's part of my daily routine and I will do it. It's part of who I am - providing food and meals for my family. If they asked repeatedly throughout the day for me to make dinner it would be irritating.

I'm sure the Lord doesn't get irritated at us like I would, but how nice it would be to hear through the day, "Thank you mom that you are taking care of our family's needs and that you will have dinner ready for us this evening." A little later, "I sure appreciate you making dinner for us tonight. I know it will be good." Wouldn't that put a smile on your face? It sure would on mine.

So, my thoughts and prayers throughout the day run more like this. "Lord, thank You that You have promised never to leave or forsake the boys, that You are a strong tower for them, that You love them and care for them far more than I do. Thank You that You have ministering angels surrounding them and that nothing will happen to them that doesn't come through the filter of Your love. Thank You that You are giving them success in their jobs and that You are showing them Your protection in different ways. Thank You that You will give us each strength and grace no matter what may come our way. "

Does this mean I never panic or give in to worry at times? No, but I do know how unproductive it is and how I am filling my mind with things that aren't truth. So, I start thanking the Lord for who He is and my worries disappear. Worry and fear can't live in the same house as truth! It's my choice which one I will feed and live with.

I know the Lord loves a thankful heart. I'm so thankful for His promises, for His goodness, for His mercy, for His grace, for His love, for His strength and omniscience and omnipotence. When I fill my thoughts with thankfulness for Him and who He is, I can rest there - it's almost too easy. His peace fills my heart and there is no room for worry, despair, or discouragement.

My sons are safe with Him even if they are in a war zone. I can trust Him with their care. I can trust Him with our future - no matter what comes our way. I want to always be dwelling in the shelter of this Most High God.

A New Blog

2007-01-27T07:56:00.000-08:00

A new blog with pictures of FOB Mizan has been set up for the soldiers' families and friends. It can be found here. Bookmark it for future pictures. What a stark and dry country Afghanistan is.

Heard from both boys...

2007-01-19T14:27:00.001-08:00

It's always a good day when I hear from both boys. They are doing well - having new adventures and seeing God's protecting hand. Brian fell 12 ft in a dark room as he was going up some stairs - the stairs turned...he didn't and he stepped out into nothing. All he needed was 4 stitches in his elbow. He was thankful for his vest which protected his shoulder as it hit on the way down and also his helmet. They had an IED blast go off next to their humvee - a sharp piece of shrapnel would have taken the gunner's eye out except for his goggles! Thank you Lord for Your protection!

Matt is practicing to be a humvee driver - says there are no flat roads where they are so everything seems to be off-roading. Sounds like he's having a bit of fun! They will be digging a well and building a water tower so they can have running water for decent showers. The last group there wasn't much into upkeep, so his tool belt will come in handy.

Thank you for your continued prayer and support for our troops and the boys. They appreciate it so much. Brian will be coming home soon for 2 weeks. Can't wait to see him and give him a big hug!

Continuing to dwell in the shelter...the best place to be.

"Between Two Worlds"....

2007-01-10T20:56:00.000-08:00

"Some Soldier's Mom" has joined our BOMS board (Band of Mothers). She has a wonderful blog at www.somesoldiersmom.blogspot.com. One of her essays really resonated with all of the army moms on our board and she has given permission to repost it here with the copyright at the bottom of the essay.

"Between Two Worlds"

365 days ago, I stood at Fort Benning and hugged my son and his buddies as they deployed to Iraq. Back then, we were told to plan for an 18-month deployment, but if they were home in 15 months it would be a gift. That they are home in 12 is a miracle in my book.

I have recently come to the conclusion that when you have someone deployed, you live in two worlds: "This" world and "That" world. In This World, everything goes on as normal. You go to work (for those that work), do the laundry, clean the house, and pay the bills...… You know -- all the things "normal" people do.

But we're not normal. We also live in That World -- the world where the telephone ringing in the middle of the night is normal 'cause it's morning over there. The world where news is everything and vague reports of improvised explosive devices can raise your heart rate 10 beats minute and unconfirmed reports of soldiers' deaths can cause you to inhale involuntarily. The world that can fall apart in an instant when the caller ID says it’s Fort _____ or there's a knock at the door and the chaplain is standing there.

In This World, holidays are a day off or a reason to shop. In That World, holidays are markers of time passing... merely milestones until homecoming. First we got through Valentine's Day,… then Easter (telling ourselves that they'll be home next Easter), then Memorial Day (oh how we'll celebrate next Memorial Day!), Independence Day (we'll have the best barbecue next 4th!), Labor Day, Columbus Day...… just marking time in That World... the World where you live between goodbyes and hellos until it's goodbyes again.

In This World, birthdays and anniversaries, the births of children, the marriages of friends and family are celebrated with a degree of sadness because your soldier is not here... your soldier is in harm's way. Can you ever truly celebrate in This World when your heart is mostly in That World? We do but only because we are forced to live in This and That World.

We live in This World where the ringing phone is just a ringing phone -- an annoyance, an interruption... but we are forced to also live in That World where we curse because the phone does not ring often enough or can bring unhappy news... where 21st century technology is a tether to That World but which we curse in blackout or busy times when we are plunged into unwanted silence.

In This World, shopping is a normal every day activity, but because we also live in That World, it is a lifeline to our soldier: shopping for the things they need...… the things they like...… the things that tie them to home -- to us...… tie them to This World and learning that soft toilet paper or their favorite brand of salsa may be more priceless than gold in That World.

In This World there are 24 hours in a day, but because we also live in That World, we live a parallel 24. As we progress through our days in This World, we are calculating the time in That World and conjuring up pictures of what our soldier is doing at that moment. When we eat we wonder if they had a hot meal today...… when we shower we wonder if they had hot water for a shower or whether it was a water bottle rinse off...… we wonder if the mail even got through today. In This World, "Where did the time go?" is a simple phrase.

In That World, it is a blessing that the hour or day went quickly because in That World time passes excruciatingly slow --… especially those last few days until that plane touches down and the senior officer yells, "Dismissed!"

In This World, you are brave, tough, and supportive and you dare not admit to many that in That World you are also weary, frightened, worried sick, and lonesome for your soldier and sometimes you cry about it for him and for you.

In This World, you smile politely when someone asks about the yellow ribbon pin or the purple "For Those Who Serve" bracelet you wear... and you smile broadly when they ask you to thank your soldier for their service in That World.

In This World you wonder why people clap when David Letterman or Jay Leno say hurtful things about the War while your soldier fights nobly in That World for their right to say it. In This World you find that you talk back to the television a lot and that you stop watching or listening to Senators and Representatives and clueless celebrities who can't seem to put aside their partisanship long enough to see the effect some of their mindless statements have on those that live in That World and are fighting That war.

In This World you wouldn't dream of challenging someone demanding that we cut and run, but because we also live in That World, we have no qualms about telling them that they don't know their butt from an indentation in the Earth's surface and thoughtfully answer all their rote mumblings about oil, lies, wealth, WMD -- and when they spout "We support the troops" -- we don't hesitate to ask them to prove it!

Before this deployment, I thought that once our son -- once Our Guys -- were home, I would return to living in just one world -- This World. However, now that the deployment is over, I have come to realize that a part of me will always live between the two worlds. That World is now an integral part of This World for me... as it is for many others.

In This World, your friends are those you know in your neighborhood and from the PTA or Lions Club meetings. For the families of those deployed, our friends in This World include everyone that understands all too well That World: friends that are serving, those that have served, the families of those that are deployed, have been deployed or are deploying and the people that really do support them... always ready with a helping hand, an encouraging word, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold in good times and bad. That World is a big world inhabited by a large family of which I am proud to be a member and for which I will forever be grateful.

Copyright 2005 Some Soldier's Mom. All rights reserved

FOB Mizan

2007-01-05T11:02:00.000-08:00

You think you have it rough...take a look at what these soldiers are living with - or rather NOT living with! FOB Mizan! Conditions have improved Matt tells us, but he did ask us to bring his tool belt when we went to Germany last month. I think he will enjoy having a hammer in his hand again! It'll be interesting to hear how he does there. I've already purchased items for his first package - tuna, Ritz crackers and cashew "candy."

No word from Brian recently...other than what is posted on his blog.

Each day that goes by, I recommit the boys and our soldiers to His keeping. God is still on the throne and in control even when our politicians seem so divided and the path ahead remains unclear to us. I continue to dwell in His shelter - His strong tower...there's no confusion with Him.

Happy New Year!

2006-12-31T20:43:00.000-08:00

Wishing you a wonderful New Year, filled with God's blessings and joy!

Home again...

2006-12-26T10:23:00.000-08:00

We had a good trip from Frankfurt to home...almost a 24 hour day from when we got up to when we got home. Brian called from Iraq about 2 hours after we fell asleep (midnight or so), but he has permission to call any time any day and we will gladly take his calls! He has a cell phone now...so he may be able to call more often although they don't have good service at their base.

He will be home for R&R sometime in February...don't have dates yet. Matt will be leaving for Afghanistan sometime in early January...no dates there either.

Continuing to dwell in His shelter...He will be to me everything that He is!

Paris

2006-12-25T17:48:00.000-08:00

Friday we had a beautiful, clear day in Paris! We did a lot of walking but enjoyed seeing the sites...Arc de Triomphe, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame and the Louvre.

Colette, Matt's girlfriend, was also visiting Paris so we met up with her for dinner.

Regansburg and Nuremburg

2006-12-20T01:29:00.000-08:00

Monday afternoon we spent in the castle courtyard in Regensburg at a Christmas market. Walking around the city, we saw the Danube and the ancient bridge crossing it.
Tuesday we took the train to Nuremburg - about an hour away. The old buildings are amazing.

Nuremburg took quite a beating during WW2 so it is not as well preserved as the buildings in Regensburg. We did find a Starbucks there though. We enjoyed sampling the specialties of the region - crepes filled with Nutella, sausages, Leibkucken (gingerbread), and of course the Guhlwein.

The booth where Kelsey is standing has little people made from dried prunes - a specialty of the city.

Matt knew about a little cafe off the beaten path where we enjoyed a delicious dinner.

Rothenburg ob der Tauber

2006-12-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

We spent the day today wandering the streets of this very old city. There are Christmas markets in every larger town, and this one was set up throughout the streets and in the main square. The picture below is taken from the tower in the above building - called the "Rathaus" or Town Hall.

Shops are all along the narrow streets as well. Kelsey and I would love to go back there by ourselves, cuz you know how guys are with shopping! We ate lunch at one of the stands selling 18" long hotdogs on a long french bread type roll! YUM!
I've uploaded some more pictures at
http://community.webshots.com/user/collins926.

Regensburg

2006-12-17T00:45:00.000-08:00

We took the train into Regensburg Saturday evening, about 30 minutes from here. We hadn't eaten all day so we were on the search for a good dinner and a little sightseeing as well. The train was very crowded as everyone comes out of their little villages and goes into town on Saturday night. We were fighting sleep and one of us gave in!

We walked through the streets for a while and came upon an incredible cathedral whose construction was started in 1250 and went to 1525. The towers were added in the 1860s.

We found a great Italian restaurant and enjoyed our dinner. There are outdoor Christmas kiosks in the city squares selling gifts, food and ornaments. We walked through those a little, but we were on a schedule with the train. After a crowded train ride home, we headed home and finally were able to sleep!

Today we are off to the city of Rothenburg ob der Tauber (on the river Tauber). It's origins go back to the 12th century with the ancient city walls still standing.

Safe Arrival in Germany

2006-12-16T03:36:00.001-08:00

We have arrived at the Gasthof-Hotel Scholl in Hormansdorf, Germany which is close to Hohenfels, the base where Matt is posted. It's been a weird day that started at 3:00 am Friday the 15th and it's now 24 hours later - but it's 12:30 noon. So we've missed out on a day. Kelsey is sleeping, but Dan and I are going to wait and sleep tonight and try to get on this time zone schedule.

The countryside is beautiful - reminds us a lot of Oregon. It has been freezing today, but the sun is out and it's a beautiful, clear day. We're headed over to the base pretty soon to see where Matt is staying and pick up an inexpensive pay-as-you-go cell phone to use.

ALL my heart....

2006-12-12T06:49:00.000-08:00

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart..." I've capitalized the "all" because I was challenged yesterday when I saw that verse which I have written on a little chalk board near my kitchen sink. God doesn't want me to trust Him with a little bit of my heart or almost the whole thing. He wants a full hearted, complete, resting heart - one that knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that He is completely trust-worthy and has every thing under control.

Sunday afternoon we got the very sad news that one of Brian's friends, a fellow soldier was killed in an IED blast. My heart is torn in two for his parents. My grief and tears are at the surface. Brian's Company is heartbroken and angry at the men who did this.

Brian went to Basic with Nick. Their paths separated when Brian went to Ft. Bragg and Nick broke his leg so he couldn't pursue SF. When Brian went to Ft. Hood, not thinking he would know anyone, I remember his happy phone call - "Hey mom, I met up with my friend that I was in Basic with! It's nice to see a familiar face." He and Brian were RTO's for their platoons.

I met Nick and his mom and dad the night before Bravo Co deployed. They were all supposed to come home. We're only 1 1/2 months into deployment. This is so difficult and so heart wrenching. The evil in that land is palpable to the soldiers there. A land with people in it who have no regard for life, who kill their own countrymen and themselves.

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart..." There are no conditions where I can say - "OK, I don't have to trust Him because of this and this and this." He IS worthy of all my trust even when things look bleak. We live in a sin riddled world, but He does have victory in the end.

I pray for Nick's parents as they go through these very difficult days and ask the Lord to give them His complete comfort and strength.

Dwelling in the shelter is the only place I will find peace...I place my sons in His capable hands and know that He is a loving and faithful God, true to His promises. "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

A different kind of Christmas poem...

2006-12-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.

Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,

I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.

My Gramps died at 'Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of 'Nam',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.

I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.

I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.

I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother...
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."

"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?

It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.

To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

By Michael Marks

Heard from both boys...

2006-12-02T09:14:00.000-08:00

Matt had a fun trip to see Colette over Thanksgiving! He was able to catch a ride to Munich with some fellow soldiers with enough time at the airport to figure out the train schedule to get back to base on Sunday.

Brian called two days ago from Camp Liberty. He is doing fine...they are learning quickly to be diligent in watching for IED's. Building good relationships with the local people is an important part of their job because they depend on them to inform them about planted IED's. The kids are everywhere so we are sending soccer balls, candy and other small toys for them. I have posted both boys addresses on the side bar of my blog as well as on theirs.

I know God has them each in His care. Continue to pray for the safety of our troops over there and somehow that there will be a resolution to this conflict so our soldiers can come home.

Never a dull moment...

2006-11-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

We had a really fun trip to Fresno, CA this past weekend for Marching Band Finals. The Mission kids put on a fantastic performance and won High Visual and High Percussion captions and came within .20 points of taking 1st place. Here's a great picture of the Drumline celebrating their score of 98.8! We start drumline season right away...therefore the caption of Never a dull moment...

The picture of Jamey was taken Finals morning as they practiced at the high school they stayed at the night before. Dan had the fun of staying overnight in the gym with all the kids and chaperones.

Meanwhile, we were able to IM with Brian who was leaving shortly for Patrol Base Courage. He and Evan, along with other leadership were on their way out to get unpacked and set up for the incoming Bravo Company. They will be in pretty rustic conditions - tents, cots, no PX, flies, limited communication etc. I guess for me it means I can help take care of him with packages , so that makes me feel like I'm doing something useful. This picture of him and Evan was taken when they were still in Kuwait.

Their Patrol Base name reminds me of the verse in Joshua 1:9 where God is encouraging Joshua as he begins his leadership responsibilities with God's people. "Be strong and courageous; do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." LORD is translated YHWH - "He will be to me everything that He is!"

When you are dwelling in the Shelter of the Most High, there is strength and courage in abundance - in knowing that YHWH will be all He says He is, will keep all His promises, and will show me all His grace, mercy, love and faithfulness! It's our choice to trust Him or not!

Praying friends...

2006-11-05T13:22:00.000-08:00

I've been quite overwhelmed this week with the number of people who have told me that the Lord has put us on their hearts to pray for us. Your prayers have been strongly felt and I'm so grateful for the e-mails, phone calls and hugs since we got back. To know that you are all praying for the boys this year is very comforting to me. My mom was a prayer warrior and I've missed being able to talk to her and ask her to pray, but I know God is blessing me with multiple prayer warriors in all of you. Thank you so much!

Our message at church this morning was on being an encourager...and you have all been that to us this week. The boys are so strengthened and reassured knowing they have you praying for them.

Here is a great quote I found today. It really sums up why we're there.

"This is not simply a fight against terror - terror is a tactic. This is not simply a fight against Al Qaeda, it's affiliates and adherants - they are foot soldiers. This is not simply a fight to bring democracy to the Middle East - that is a strategic objective. This is a fight for the very ideas at the foundation of our society, the way of life those ideas enable, and the freedoms we enjoy."

--R.L. Brownlee, Acting Secretary of the Army
--General Peter J. Schoomaker, Chief of Staff, United States Army

May God bless and strengthen our military and our leaders.

Home again...long drive

2006-11-03T15:12:00.000-08:00

Well - we had a good trip to Texas and back again. The time we spent with Brian was very good...and meeting his fellow soldiers was reassuring as well as giving us more names for our prayer list! They are all outstanding soldiers and I'm so proud of them. We were able to meet Aly's family too, with a stop in Oklahoma City. We hope it will be longer next time.

Updates and travel...

2006-10-26T15:48:00.000-07:00

We found out on Monday that Matt will be deployed to Afghanistan in January. It was pretty devastating to hear he would be going so soon...but I kept saying to myself that God wasn't surprised. And He is still in control. We're all being stretched and we're learning daily to walk one day at a time and to walk by faith.

We leave this afternoon for Texas...it'll be a tough weekend but God is faithful and He will give us the grace and strength we need. Never have I needed Him so much...and that's just where He wants me...completely dependent on Him. His grace is sufficient....and His shelter is safe.

We appreciate everyone's prayers so much. I'll post pictures when we return.

Upsetting news...

2006-10-24T12:46:00.000-07:00

We've had some upsetting news that I will post here soon, but needless to say, my faith is being stretched and tested. I'm really trying to focus on YHWH - He will be to me everything that He is....still dwelling in His shelter...

Seeing God's hand...

2006-10-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

When Matt called a couple of weeks ago now and told me very excitedly that his orders were for Germany my response was "Isn't God good to give you what you wanted?"

Matt responded kinda sheepishly, "Yeah, it was like He punched me in the stomach and said 'See, I can do it!'"

I was so happy that he could see God's hand and goodness in this and that even though his own efforts had failed in securing orders for Germany, that God in His love and grace had given him his first choice for assignment.

Last night he woke me up at 2:45am telling me his orders are for Hohenfels - a place we know little about. He sounded so happy about it and is really looking forward to this time he'll get to spend in Europe - getting to know other cultures and nationalities.

Again my heart was blessed with seeing what the Lord was showing Matt about His goodness and grace.

Then it struck me! God isn't just showing Matt his goodness...He is demonstrating it for me too! How blind I can be sometimes. God is showing me that He is taking care of Matt - to me in miraculous ways because the Army is giving Matt his very specific hearts desire! And in this week before Brian deploys to Iraq, He is showing me that in the very same way He is going to be taking care of Brian. In the very same, specific, miraculous ways, God is going to be holding Brian safely under the shadow and shelter of His wings. God is so good...what better place to dwell than in that shelter! Thank you Lord for Your goodness and for Your gracious, gentle way of showing me Your lovingkindnesses and watch care over my soldiers.

Refiner's Fire...

2006-10-22T13:50:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, a few ladies met in a certain city to study the scriptures. While reading the third chapter of Malachi, they came upon a remarkable expression in the third verse: 'And He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.' (Malachi 3:3)

One lady proposed to visit a silversmith and report to them on what he said about the subject. She went accordingly, and without telling the object of her errand, begged the silversmith to tell her about the process of refining silver.

After he had fully described it to her, she asked,"But Sir, do you sit while the work of refining is going on?"

"Oh, yes madam," replied the silversmith, "I must sit with my eye steadily fixed on the furnace, for if the time necessary for refining be exceeded in the slightest degree, the silver will be injured."

The lady at once saw the beauty, and comfort too, of the expression, 'He shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

God sees it needful to put His children into a furnace; His eye is steadily intent on the work of purifying, and His wisdom and love are both engaged in the best manner for us. Our trials do not come at random, and He will not let us be tested beyond what we can endure.

Before she left, the lady asked one final question,"When do you know the process is complete?"

"Why that is quite simple," replied the silversmith."When I can see my own image in the silver, the refining process is finished."

-Author Unknown

I needed this poem today...

2006-10-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

I Look Not Back

I look not back; God knows the fruitless efforts,
The wasted hours, the sinning, the regrets.
I leave them all with Him who blots the record.
And graciously forgives and then forgets.

I look not forward, God sees all the future,
The road that short or long, will lead me home,
And He will face with me its ev'ry trial,
And bear for me the burdens that may come.

I look not round me; then would fears assail me
So wild the tumult of earth's restless seas,
So dark the world, so filled with woe and evil,
So vain the hope of comfort and of ease.

I look not inward; that would make me wretched,
For I have naught on which to stay my trust,
Nothing I see save failures and shortcomings,
And weak endeavors, crumbling into dust.

But I look up - into the face of Jesus,
For there my heart can rest, my fears are stilled,
And there is joy, and love, and light for darkness,
And perfect peace, and every hope fulfilled.

Annie Johnson Flint

My Two Soldiers

2006-10-16T08:09:00.000-07:00

God was so good to me to give me 5 days with all my kiddos home! Brian left yesterday for Ft. Hood and we have a week ahead with Matt. He'll leave for Germany next Sunday. I'll be starting a blog for him soon.

I'm adding some pictures of our week with Brian and family pictures. Jeff and Caitlin went to Homecoming Saturday night.

Thank you to Heather and Scott for coming to take family pictures Sunday morning!

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!

Doing the happy dance for Matt...

2006-10-10T18:41:00.000-07:00

God is so good. Matt got his orders this morning and God has granted him his heart's desire. He really wanted to go to Germany and that's where the "needs of the army" is sending him. He is so excited...

He will be flying home tomorrow afternoon/evening sometime. God has granted me my request also, that we all be together for a short time before Brian deploys. The two boys haven't seen each other since last Christmas. But for a few short days, we will all be together under one roof. Brian leaves Sunday the 15th for Ft. Hood and Matt leaves early Sunday morning, Oct 22, from LAX to Atlanta and then on to Germany!

God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

That's why dwelling in His shelter is the only place to be.

Deployment perspective...

2006-10-08T13:34:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about Brian deploying and the Lord brought to mind (again) the process I went through before he was born....

We went through several years of infertility before we had Brian. I finally was diagnosed with endometriosis and had a laparoscopy (sp?) but it came back. I found a different doctor who put me on the pill non-stop for several months. Throughout this whole period of time, I would desperately throw this prayer up to the Lord "Lord, please give me a baby!"

One day I was at my parent's house and my dad and I were having a late night conversation. He told me about a missionary in China (a friend of theirs) who had a neighbor who hated her. The neighbor would say ugly things about her, would be spiteful and mean to her etc. The missionary wanted to respond in a godly way and found this way to do it. She would, in her prayers, take these insults and ugly things, and wrap them up in her mind in a package. Then she would take them to the cross and lay them there. They weren't hers to carry because the Lord had promised to carry her burdens. So, she would daily take these packages and leave them there.

My dad challenged me to lay my burdens on Jesus. Something clicked with me and I went to bed. I imagined a baby - didn't know if he/she was wrapped in pink or blue - and in my mind and heart - handed that baby to Jesus. I told Him that that baby was His...not mine. I knew the baby would be safe with Him and I didn't need to worry about him any more. If God felt that in the future I would be ready to be a mother, then in His timing He would give him to me. But - and this was key for me - I told the Lord that I knew He loved me and wanted the very best for me - and if having a baby wasn't best for me, I would trust Him to give me the grace and strength to accept that. I only wanted His best. (Isaiah 55:8,9).

I can't tell you the peace that flooded over me. My whole perspective changed. When before I would pray desperately for a baby - now I would stop and say, "Oh, yeah, I know where that baby is - safely in Jesus' arms...I don't have to worry about that anymore."

We started the process of adopting a baby from Korea but you guessed it...within 3 months I was pregnant with Brian. And the Lord blessed us with 4 more.

The reason I tell this story is because this is exactly where I need to be with Brian going to Iraq. The Lord has him safely in His arms and His protection. I don't need to worry about him. If the Lord should call him home to heaven, then He will give me the grace and strength I need. When I worry (and I know that I will) it's because I'm grabbing him back from the Lord and telling Him I can do a better job of taking care of him. Well - that's certainly not true! So, I had better hand him back and fast!

I'm a visual learner - and this really helps me keep my perspective. I know it's going to be sooo hard to say goodbye - and there will be many tears at saying goodbye. But I pray they will be tears filled with faith - in God's goodness, His peace and His strength for each day.

That's my story...He has blessed me with so many good things...

The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away...Blessed be the name of the Lord. Job 1:21

Brian's coming home!

2006-10-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning Brian and his girlfriend, Alyssa, come into LAX. They're at the Battalion Ball tonight - hope to have pictures soon! It'll be good to hug Brian and meet Alyssa. They're bittersweet days as this will be the last time he's home for a long time! I'm thankful for my shelter...God is good.

Matt's Turning Blue and Graduation

2006-10-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

We attended Matt's Turning Blue ceremony at his barracks and his graduation at Kanell Field at Sand Hill at Ft. Benning. Kelsey pinned his blue cord on - only infantry soldiers wear the blue cord. The next day he graduated with his Company at the field. We are so proud of Matt. Yesterday we took a trip to Panama City, FL to see the Gulf coast. Didn't think it would be quite as long a drive as it was but it was a beautiful day and we enjoyed spending it together.